I worked today, just 4 hours, but it made me REALLY stabby. Stupid stupid people, asking ignorant questions and acting like assholes. Ugg!

Anyways. Working on my hooping, torso in particular. Getting there, getting better….still not successful. I am using my larger lighter hoop, because it is easier to work with due to it’s slower rotation. It also hurts less when it hits me. >_>

I have a free movie pass. I might use it to see Star Trek, because I love Spock so.

Tomorrow I work 8 hours, then I am going to my friend’s hockey game. Will be out late for sure.

Love my hair.

I’ll be dying it in a few days. Something more yellow/orange.

Long time no post. I have been working so much, I haven’t had much of a chance to just sit down and write about how much I have been working. I have just about enough time in my day t twitter. Omg, I twitter way too much. It’s not an addiction…I can live without it…I can quit any time...*sweats after not tweeting in 20 minutes*

So what have I been up to? Hooping, for one. Muscles in my body I didn’t even realize I had are stiff and hurting me, and I have bruises all over my body, causing people to grow concerned. I don’t know which would be worse for people to think; that I am getting the crap beat out of me by a boyfriend….or a child’s toy. I can say that I am improving (very slowly) but hooping is one of those things that will hurt because you're not doing it right, and one day you just get it, and it suddenly doesn’t hurt, and it feels so easy that you wonder how you could have ever struggled in the first place. And then you feel dumb. I’m not at that point yet. Mostly I’m just looking dumb.

Working on my belly dancing. Not happy with my class. I signed up for a “beginner” class, thinking I would go there for an hour each week, learning in that time different moves and how to best execute them. I was assuming I would learn shimmies, and steps, and arm placement. Maybe some history, some information about costuming, etc. instead, I joined a class that is just a woman, Nadia, teaching specific dance steps to a dance she wants us to learn. I come in, and on my first day, without knowing a damn thing, she wants me to just join in where I could. I just looked at what the other women were doing and tried to copy them. I had no guidance, no demonstration or explanation as to how to do any of it. I mean, if all I was going to do was watch and mimic, with no feedback or correction, I could have bought a fucking belly dance DVD and just copied the women in my living room and saved myself the frustration of Nadia yelling at me when I don’t pick up a new step in 5 minutes of her “showing” it to us. I wanted to learn how to shimmy, how to move my arms, how to belly dance…not learn the sequential steps in a singular dance I am expected to perform in august. Wtf! I can’t use anything I learned outside that curriculum, all I know are 15 steps and their order.
Not pleased, that is what I am.

One thing I am pleased with is Star Trek.
I have seen it 3 times, once at the imax, and that movie ROCKS! I have always loved Spock, but it has always been a dirty little secret of mine. Now I’m letting the whole world know. I LOVE MR. SPOCK!
My mum and dad are trekkies, but I was always into Star Wars. I grew up with ST, however. The original show, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Enterprise….so I did like it and know the characters. I took my dad to see Star Trek the Saturday it came out (secretly wanting to see it myself but forced to wear a SW t-shirt to hide my enthusiasm) and omg that movie blew me away. It was so good! And Spock….mr. spock….*gets dizzy* my knees are weak, he has nerve-pinched my heart. *tips over*
He can talk logic to me any day.

So, yeah, that is about where my life is now. Looking forward to Terminator, Transformers, Drag Me To Hell, Harry Potter, and my Paramore concert.

Oh! I lost 15 lbs! yay for me! So excited. Gotta keep working at it. :)

So, I have a monster of a headache. I’m sure it’s self wrought, brought on by a lack of caffeine and an abundance of loud music…but it still sucks.

So, beautiful day, 77 degrees, sunny…30 mile per hour winds… gah! wtf, Buffalo can’t have ONE flawless day, can it?
See, wind here is nothing new, nothing to complain about, really…unless that wind causes a HUGE tree limb to snap off and plummet to the ground…no worries, though, he car broke its fall. Inspection was today, and we failed. Why, you ask? Because the diver’s side mirror was smashed…because of the falling tree branch an HOUR before! FML.


So, my mum, out of the blue, was like “let’s go to the mall today!” and I have no money, so I walked the mall and got nothing. Talk about depressing. It is like going to a candy shop while on a diet. A hair salon when balding. A white house banquet when you're a republican. I mean, it’s just cruel!

So yeah, I got to make a list of everything I would have bought if I was rich, and I made a mental note of all the stuff I will have to go back for and try and get at some point. Not likely to happen.
Damn it, I hate being poor. What I wouldn’t give to be a kept woman. I’m not being 100% serious here…I would never be able to not have a job and live off someone else’s money (income or otherwise)… but to be dating a guy with money, money he would be willing to dote upon me now and then, would be SO nice. (*is not thinking mean and nasty jealous thoughts of Jade*)

Some exciting news: my mum bought me some ring pops today. You can’t see it, but my inner child is alight with glee.

I watched a movie marathon, Spiderman 1-3. boy-oh-boy. James Franco is really nice to look at, let me tell you.

Well, I’m off to bed since I work tomorrow. Gotta bring home the green.
Night.
X

Oh, my, god….sometimes I what to throw my phone (I love you, phone) against the wall. Being a part of Twitter is basically the only thing that keeps me going these days of tedium and loneliness, but I am watching more than one person (two, actually) who live in a time zone 5 hours ahead of me, so when it is 8am for them and they are tweeting away about their morning, it is 3am for me, and I am trying to sleep. XD I love you Tom (Felton) I really really do, but I don’t want to hear about your perfect girlfriend (Jade) in the middle of the night. And if I turn my phone on silent (yes, I thought of this) I wake up to 20+ tweets, and often an important missed text or phone call. X_x
I am not following many celebrities at the moment. Like, honestly? I don’t care what most of them do. I started following Tom Felton back when he was new (had less that 30 tweets and less than 2000 followers) and I was like “okay, this is cool” and now he has 450-ish tweets and 22,800+ followers. Jeepers! I am also following Emma Watson (I have no idea why, I don’t like her, haha!) and Jamie Campbell Bower. *shakes head*

So, this is all my intro into why I’m so tired today. So because my phone was on, I got a text at 9am from my second job, asking me to come in. I roll out of bed, lug myself through my routine, and was just about to leave, when I got a second text saying “never mind” about me needing to come in and I was like FUCK! I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I was up at 9:30am when I planned on sleeping in on the day I didn’t have to be at work until 4pm. (that didn’t happen because I was called by my other job and asked to come in an hour early. More on that in a minute) So I cleaned my room, which it desperately needed, and watched Twilight in the process. I really don’t watch this movie as often as you would think. It has been almost 2 weeks. I just never have time, or don’t feel like watching a movie as long as this. (love long movies, appreciate them keeping as much in as possible)
Have you ever watched the movie and managed to peel your eyes away from the male eyecandy long enough to just watch Jessica throughout the film? Her in the lunch room on the first day is just awesome. Her expressions are priceless.


So today is Earth Day, and I hoped to spend it outside, like I do every year, cleaning and gardening, and picking up trash from public areas, but it was 38 degrees out, raining, and gusting wind. YUCK! But this Friday and Saturday it is supposed to be REALLY nice, so I will do my planet some service then!

I got called into work an hour early today. Why? And why did I say yes? Well, I need the money. DUH! But as for the first part, I was called in because the dumbass who runs the bakery (may she burn in hell) didn’t schedule anyone between 3 and 4pm, and instead of having Sue (who would be coming in at 4 for her shift) come in an hour early, they called me. Why? Because I can’t say no, and they know this, and they are always taking advantage of this. It has been pissing me off for a while now that they do this. I get no compensation for this, no bonus, no gift card, no raise, and no appreciation. They don’t even simply cut me some slack because I forgot my nametag today. Fuckers.

Now that I am home, I should dance, practice my routine…but I am so sore and tired. Ugg. And I haven’t eaten yet today…but having gotten this far, I kinda want to keep going. Eating after 9pm just seems a little pointless, even if it is the first thing you have had.

I should fold laundry. Boy, what an exciting life I lead….

Just got back from my friend’s birthday party at the bar she lives next door to. It was a blast. Playing darts all night, everyone else drinking (I don’t drink) and dancing around like a jackass to the jukebox we captured all night. I got to listen to Paramore and All-America Rejects, so I was delighted.

My belly dancing class went well. I volunteered to make the whole class circle skirts (granted they will be paying for the materials and the labor) and I’m both excited and a little daunted by the task. There are only 10-ish women in the class, but, still, that is 10-ish skirts I will be obligated to make if I agree to all this. *meep*
I’m excited though. I am thinking my colours will be yellow, with either a lime green or orange coined hip-scarf. Thoughts?

My back is hurting me a bit. And my legs are tired. I power-walked 4+ miles today. Gah!

Today was a long one. Woke up at 6am, got to work by 7:30 (was almost late because I was dicking around on my computer, as usual) and worked til 4pm. Had only one thing to eat all day, a piece of breakfast pizza at 10am. After work I hurried home, took a shower, dicked around on my computer, and ran off to dance which I was almost late for at 6pm. Then at 7:30 I rushed straight off to the bar for the party and was there until 11pm. Now I am home, it is just after midnight, and I am so freaking tired, but I had 2 giant Monsters today, so I could be awake forever and feel like I’m fine. (I’m really not, lol)
Thank God I don’t have to work until 4pm tomorrow. I can sleep in, clean my room and change my bedding, and get to work without having to power-walk for once. Unless I waste all day dicking around on my computer. Wanna bet?

That was my day, more-or-less in a nutshell. I already twittered about how boring my shift was, and how much I hate people in general, so I won’t get into it here and now.

I like the new picture of the werewolf (shapeshifter wolf) pack for New Moon. I might not be into mutts, but those boys certainly didn’t disappoint me when it came to fleshing out my mental image of the characters. Hope they don’t freeze to death filming in Vancouver, pretending to have a body temp of 108 when they are, really, just a cluster of teenagers with 2% body fat.

Night!

I never update in here. I am not sure why, I paid for this thing...maybe it’s because of all my twittering. I express how I feel 100x a day, and therefore don’t feel the need to say (or rant about) anything once home.
That or I work all the time, have been trying to write my book, been working on my art again (finally) and am full-blooded lazy!

For anyone checking in on me, my psyche is just as frail as ever, but I am striving to be optimistic! I even went out bowling the other night, and saw 17 Again (great movie!) with some gay friends of mine. I am getting increasing panic attacks and night terrors, and I’m not sure of the trigger, just yet. I think it is residual birthday dread, seeping its way into my subconscious, making me panicky over nothing. Shadows and ghosts.

I am taking a belly dance class now. You all know this, yes? It is fun, though I can’t say I have a natural knack for it, or anything. It is just a step towards my being more outgoing and trying new things. I am about to go off and practice now…if I can kick my stupid little sister out of the living room, that is.

Been drawing. What, you ask? Octopi. What else?

Still in love with Robert Pattinson. Heaven help him.

Hope this finds you all well.

Pepper

OH MY GOBSTOPPERS!
I just got tickets to see Paramore this summer! June 19th, at the Darien Lake Performing Arts Center, Paramore and No Doubt are making a stop, and I have 11th row seats!!! Best part? I will be less than 50 feet from the stage, and therefore close enough to Hayley to breathe air that she might have exhaled! I paid 90 bucks for my seat! Tickets went on sale at 10am and I bought them right then, I didn’t wait, so I got good seats at a killer price! ftw. The last show I went to at Darien Lake, I paid 90 for lawn seats!
I’m so stoked.
I am on a diet so that I can wear shorts to the concert! Wish me luck!
AAAAANNNNDDDD….I just won a Paramore wallet on Ebay that I have been looking for since before Christmas! See, I saw it at Hot Topic back around thanksgiving and REALLY liked it, but didn’t have any cash on me, so I couldn’t get it right then. So I came back the next week and it was gone. The wallet was not on the HT website, it was not on the Paramore official merchandise page, it wasn’t on eBay, or Amazon, or anywhere! I went on to the Paramore fan LJ paramoremusic and asked my fellow Paramore fanatics if they knew anything about this wallet. I was beginning to think I had imagined the whole thing! I was going crazy, for sure.
Finally, a week ago, while doing my daily eBay sweep for “Paramore Wallet”, there it was! The ninth result, a picture of the wallet I had been searching for! New with tags! No bids, nine dollars, 5 days left on it!

I snapped it up. My max bid was $35.97…no one was getting that baby but me!
I won the bid this Monday, with $19.98! Someone had tried that retarded bidding, one dollar at a time BS, trying to outbid me.
Dude, that is NOT how it works! You put in a max bid, and you are automatically set up to only pay a dollar more than the former bidder so long as you surpass their high bid! You don’t bid over and over again, going up in price a little at a time, trying to GUESS the max bid! Are you stupid!?
Anyways. Hehe...
The wallet is shipped and when I get it, I wont lie, I will scream and jump around…but only a lot little bit. :)

Oh, and that Conner thing is over. I was kinda seeing a guy, he seemed nice, worked at the mall, was young but groovy. He seemed to like me, which should have been my tip off that there was something terribly wrong with him in the first place, but I went along with it. He texted now and then, asked if I would spend his birthday with him, I agreed. I busted by bum to get the Sunday off, allowed myself to get fractionally excited, and he blew me off. No text, nor call, nor contact, he just flat out ditched me. So I spent the day pampering myself and buying a AWESOME new purse.

Omg, to sidetrack myself for a moment…it is a navy canvas tote-style bag made by Converse One Star, with brushed gold buckles, and accents, and star engraved grommets in the corners. It is SO awesome. I gotta sport my brand. :)

Anyways, so I am done and done with Conner. I’m not texting him to tell him this, mind you. I am just dropping him. He hasn’t tried to contact me, so I won’t him. Parting ways.
Am I mad?
A little bit.
Am I surprised?
Not in the least.
Guys aren’t interested in me, even when they say they are. They aren’t. They just don’t realize it yet.
Never have I had a guy get to know me and be like “YES, this girl? Yes, she is great” I’m cool with that, but that means I’m a bit emotionally detached. I don’t get attached to guys, or caught up in the "excitment" of a new relationship, because I know they are not gonna stick around.
Sad but factual.
I refuse to be led on, you see, so I don’t buy their complements, and their player ways. They do not open doors for me, or pay for my ticket or dinner. They do not drive me around, or dress me up nice. No gifts, no flowers.
No thanks.
Getting between my legs is not something a guy can buy, or get by smooth talking. Since that is what men want, they lose interest in me quickly once that is understood as a non-option. Sorry.
So I’m single. Mmm…mmm…lovin’ it.

I am on Twitter now. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! Seriously, this could be one of the worst addictions in recent history. I have discovered, instead of incessantly texting my friends throughout the day and getting few or no responses, I can just Twitter, and feel just as contented!
I have also become a cyber-stalker. Seriously, it’s terrible! I felt bad enough for subscribing to Tom Felton’s YouTube channel, but I am now following his Twitter, and even responding to his posts! It brings me endless shame to think how close I am to being little more than a rabid fan girl. Gah!
I’m not a fan girl, I’m not a fan girl, I’m not a fan girl!
*head desk*
I cringe at every thought that crosses my mind where in one scenario or another, I somehow contact Tom via email, twitter, youtube, etc. and he (for whatever applicable reason assigned to said delusion) he responds.
BAD PEPPER! BAD!

So, yeah, that is my week in a nutshell.
It has been raining all week.
Exciting? Sure is!

Hello everyone.
I have removed my last post because, well frankly, it was depressing and overly dramatic. Embarrassing really.
I’ll have you all know that I am still alive, and in working order; my computer was simply out of commission for a while and that was the reason as to my recent disappearance.
I assure you all that I am quite alright.

As for news on my life since my former post…well, I have a new computer! Exciting. A beautiful Toshiba laptop with all sorts of sexiness going on all around it. I’m particularly thrilled with the built in webcam because it could come in handy when making my vlogs!
I will be getting back to my vlogging shortly, I promise you. My security settings on my computer –at the moment- don’t seem to want to allow me to log into YouTube. It is a really headache, but a problem I hope to solve quickly.
I’m delighted to announce that I have a wee bit of a love interest in my life now. Sorta.
I am currently seeing a little Korean guy named Connor. It isn’t serious yet. We hardly see each other, actually, but it is in the first stages. His birthday is this Sunday, so I am attempting to get the day off from work so I can spend it with him, as nice girlfriends have been known to do. Fingers crossed that I get the time off. I never RTO but of course the first time I try I’ll be denied. Karma, my friend, is a real bitch.
I have been working out again, have to get in shape and drop some poundage for summer. I also bought Bare Minerals makeup, to attempt to be less hideous. So far little success, but I haven’t given up just yet. I need a haircut again, and to lose this weight…then I just might be tolerable!

Goodness I love this computer! Oh how I have missed being online. Life is boring without blogging. People lived for centuries, millennia, without blogging, and they survived, yes. That is true. BUT, they did not know what they were missing. They did not have it and then have it snatched away abruptly. I mean, think if someone took the charcoal away from those cave painters! They would have bashed someone’s head in with the thighbone of a stegosaurus after a week, and you know it!

I am excited with all the New Moon stuff that is happening now. Seeing RobPattz on the Oscars was glorious and cream-worthy. I will not lie, I screamed and threw myself at the tele when he appeared because it was so unexpected for me too see him there, looking so Edwardesque. *squee*
I already have my Twilight movie on hold, and I am dying too get my hands on it. I have been suffering from Twilight withdrawal for weeks now. Listening to the soundtrack, reading the books, wearing my shirts and jewelry, making out with my lifesize Edward cardboared cutout….anything to get through these last few weeks of waiting.
I’m also really anticipating Kristen’s film Adventureland. It looks ike it could be reall good, and I hate her for being so damn skinny.
Whatever.

I will have to update more, later. I just wanted to post something. I work 3pm to 11:30pm today, and that sucks so much balls.
Wish me luck!

“I don’t think they’ll have to put a lot of makeup on me, I’m pretty white already.”

Dakota Fanning is all over the Twilight fan blog circuit at the moment.
It is basically concrete that she is being cast as Jane at this point, because it is really bad form for an actor to speak so openly about desiring a part when the company is still trying to cast others for it.
ET reports exclusively: "Dakota tells ET that although contracts haven’t been signed, she does hope to join the cast of ‘New Moon.’ She tells us she’s a big fan of the movie ‘Twilight’ and would really like to play a vampire, namely the sadistic bloodsucker Jane."

So....

What do I think of little Dakota playing Jane?
Well, she certainly fits the role in my mind as far as appearance is concerned.
Jane is kind’a a nondescript, obligatory creepy little blonde-girl-vampire. I’m typically opposed to this kind of compulsory character because it is a big case of been there, seen that ...

Claudia
Interview with a Vampire


Nikolaos.
Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter

But I, myself, am guilty of having written characters like this, so I will be forgiving...this once.

I withhold judgment on Dakota as Jane until is see her new film, Push. I want to see her in a more action/supernatural role, with a more mature experience, to really see if she could effectively play the sadistic little vampire with the curious talent of inflicting pain at a distance without causing physical injury. (Cruciatus Curse, anyone?)

I was confused, at first, as to why they would go for such a big-name actress. It is a lot of money paid out to get an actor of such caliber. Jane has a VERY small role, minimal dialog, more of an intimidating presence and threat than anything.
With so many questions and concerns over the casting of the Volturi, I grow concerned that Summit is more preoccupied with finding Names and not Talent. Picking actors for the role based on their existing appeal, based on what they think the fan base with gush over, and not how well they represent their character, or how well they act.
Trust me...the fans would pass on the eye-candy that is Ben Barnes for an actor who would bring Aro to the screen as faithfully as possible. We will overlook the fact that the no-name actress who is cast as Jane has only done a few Jello Jigglers commercials and JC Penny adds.
We want quality, not gimmick.

So, I remain reserved until I learn more, but Dakota is very talented, and reportedly a fan of Twilight, so I believe her capable of pleasing the twihards out there.

I don’t think any of you will really be able to notice, but I got a new layout!
Don’t worry; it is nearly identical to my last, only now my entries are accompanied by their icons! Just like I asked for!
The very very very very very lovely lady veruca_veruca  made up this layout for me RIGHT QUICK and it is lovely.
I do hope to, eventually, make myself a new header image, and at that time have a different layout with new colours made. But that is all in due-time.
I am very very very pleased with this turnout. Disproportionately so.
Now I kind’a want to sign up for a paid account, just so I can have more icons again! I miss my paid account.
DAMN YOU LJ!

Hope you are all well. :)

I went and saw the new movie Underworld: Rise of the Lycan.
Let me first start off by saying this....
I can’t tell you how annoyed I was when the first movie came out and people would go on and on about like: “what’s a Lycan?” or “I thought Lycan was moss” and such.
OMFG!
Lycan is Greek, and it literally means Wolf. Lycan, in relation to werewolves, is an abbreviation of the word Lycanthrope, which combines the Greek word “thrope” –meaning man- with Lycan, to literally describe WolfMan!
SO SHUT UP!

Anyway, the film was enjoyable, if not incredibly predictable. We know the story already given that it is explained in the first movie, Underworld, so we couldn’t really expect much surprise without veering from the established facts. Continuity is always appreciated, however, and this film certainly did a service to the fans by following established detail. The movie did well to tie up any loose ends or uncertainties, and was a valued look into the older world of Vampires and Lycan. Sadly, that is just it; the movie was little more than a preface for another story, and the plot really can be summed up in the 20 second explanation we were given in the first film, leaving 2 hours to be filled with awkward partial nudity and repent CGI violence.

The movie has limited re-watch ability due to the fact that it is now the second time we have heard/seen this story, and it is not a terribly uplifting plot, but it did improve on the overall Underworld franchise, which was hurting after the bomb that was the second film. CGI is improving, which is nice, but still looks like CGI.

Off my movie-review-soap-box…
I had a lot of fun that night, seeing the film with my friends, piling into a car that could not seat 6, eating, laughing, making people uncomfortable with our frivolity. I dressed up in latex pants, knee boots, a red tank top, and a floor-length black trench. I love getting dressed up for these things. <3
I’m sure I scared the one guy I had invited, and he went home to weep, but I hope it wasn’t so traumatizing for him because -damn it- he and I are supposed to watch LotRs together. Lol.

Now I REALLY want to watch the first Underworld, but I am having such a fat day (with Miss America on tonight and all that) that I don’t think I could watch Kate Beckinsale run around in latex pants without killing myself.
My night terrors last night nearly killed me, and I mean this literally.

I need a new LJ layout!
HELP!
I made this one (the image and all that jazz), and it is “fun” but I get annoyed (disproportionately so) over the fact that my entries are not accompanied by the icon/avatar I assign.

ILIKE MY ICONS, DAMN IT! THAT IS WHYI HAVE THEM!

I need to find a nice basic layout, one where there is an entry, and icon, and little else.
Like “hi, I’m an entry, and this is my icon. Yay!”
Jesus, is that too much to ask for?
I like my image/header at the top, not on the side, not incorporated throughout the whole journal, not dripping, winking, blinking, swirling, etc. I don’t want my LJ to scare people, I just want it to display my bloddy icons!

This is why I left LJ in the first place, I just can’t figure this thing out. I’m either stuck with a layout someone else made that I kind’a like but isn’t really “me”, or I fuck up the whole layout by trying to custom my own (case-in-point: my current LJ)
FUCK!
If anyone can help, that would be fantastical. Otherwise I might just freak-out and kill people. :)

I got called into work 2 hours early, AGAIN, so I have to go now. Yay! *not happy*

I would write something in this space commemorating the 44th inauguration of the president of the united states, but I found some text on a website that I like SO much more than anything I could ever say, so prepare yourself for a little bit of some cut-n-paste.

http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2009/01/how-romantic.html

"I was too busy watching the House marathon on USA to notice, but according to all the calls and emails I got yesterday, I missed Barack Obama being sworn in as our 44th President. Apparently that was some kind of historic event. Not sure why exactly because I'm pretty sure Obama didn't cross the Alps on elephants and I'm almost positive that CNN would have mentioned if he fed the crowd with two fish and five loaves of bread. Since they didn't, I really didn't see the need to watch another rich, Ivy league educated lawyer raised by white people turned power hungry, cutthroat politician tell me how he's just like me through words that other rich, Ivy league educated white people wrote. Sorry, dude. I realize I'm not supposed to notice because you and Martin Luther King, Jr. kinda look alike, but the guy who cuts my grass kinda looks like me too. That doesn't mean it's my lifelong dream to see him elected President."

That just cracked me up.
I actually don't absolutely hate the guy, but it's really odd how people seem to think he shits bricks of gold.

It is disheartening how so may "Straight -Edge" "truth" and "Above the Influence" groups on Facebook, and LJ, are overrun by drug-users calling the intended participants "uptight-Aholes." It makes me legitimately sad that a lifestyle (in today’s ever opening and supposedly accepting society) is judged so harshly.
I live above the influence, by choice. Not because I’m being "influenced" by commercials, or groups, or campaigns, or religions, or what have you. I live life for the enjoyment of it and I want to be in control of myself while doing so, so as to be able to remember the things I do, and so I can feel the full satisfaction of it. I can have fun without the assistance of any chemicals beyond the ones produced by my own brain/body.
People seem to take mine and others’ stance on such issues as us offhandedly judging them and therefore they seem to feel justified in tearing our opinions/beliefs down. I wish there was a way to explain to people that the way I live my life is just as much my right, as it is for them to live theirs how they like to (with the exception that I am doing nothing irresponsible, selfish, or illegal). If I must be surrounded by an ever-spectacular society of glorified drug-use and idolized celebrity-train-wrecks, and be expected to be non-judgmental, I would like much of the same non-prejudices be extended to me and my choices.

IDK, there is a good chance I am just a bitch who doesn’t know how to have a good time.
There is also a chance that I might just be tired of people telling me what to do.

I am a girl who does not worry about silly things like bras, for the most part.
I hear women go on and on about a well-fitting bra being worth the investment, that a good-fitting bra is so hard to come by, etc.
I listen with as much empathy as I can muster, but as still left baffled and alienated as the average guy as to how this can be such an issue.
I own a handful of brassieres, and they are all cute and colourful, and meant for little girls.
Why?
Because I have no boobs and wearing them makes me feel like a big girl! :]
Seriously, I used to be all sad over this fact, now I’m just thankful I don’t have to regularly invest in these masochistic-self-torture devices.
Why am I telling this story?
Well, yesterday, I bought my first Lady’s Bra.
I was expecting balloons and confetti to rain down -or at the very least a noise-maker- but got nothing.
I was highly disappointed.
Stupid Victoria’s Secret. Poor customer service, that is.
Anyways, I bought a strapless bra, not that I need the support, but it has padding, which is nice/needed.

Basically, I bought a $10 dress and a $50 bra to wear with it.
This seems to make sense to everyone except me.


Bras are just so silly…

I don't care what you say, Tyson is NOT gay.



It takes a REAL man to wear tight pink jeans and prance around on a stage like a fairy while wearing a petty scarf!

DON'T JUDGE ARTISTS!

Seriously, he is expressing himself. Maybe he is queer, maybe he is channeling David Bowie!

I'd still abduct him and make him my personal sex slave.

<3

So I need to lose weight.
I complain a lot about my weight, and so many people are like “omfg, shut up” but this is my blog, bitch.
Last year I put on weight, about 20-25lbs, and it was on purpose.
Why?
Well, I have been told, and have read, and basically have been given the very strong impression that men like boobs. Can’t imagine? I know, right?
I don’t have any, and people told me for years that if I but gained weight, I too would have my very own pair of boobies. I seriously doubted this, but felt pressure.
“Guys like booty”
“Guys like their women to have meat on’em”
“Gotta have something to grab”
Etcetera.
So, I started down the path of gaining weight. I didn’t tell anyone about this, I figured they would just notice me getting a little chubby but be too nice to say anything about it. .....except my brother who never lets an opportunity to call me fat pass him by!......
Well, I'm 130lbs now. Give a little, I think.
What is the result?
No boobs.
Yes, my mosquito bites are the biggest they have ever been...like, I can almost fill out an Acup now. Wee! But still, no dramatic insta-boob I was promised.
Damn.
So basically, I have a flabby ass, and a gut, no boobs, and a double-chin.
Bring on the babes!
*sigh*
So, now, I am struggling to take control of my eating, get back on an exercising regime, and tone up and slim down.
I want to be 110 again, because at least skinny girls can lack boobs and it be okay, because –hey, at least they are skinny.
So, I had my “last meal” if you will today. Pizza Hut stuffed crust cheese pizza, a bread stick, and root beer.

It was epic.
Now I have to crack down.
I want to be
Hayley Williams
Kristen Stewart
Avril Lavigne
AnnaLynne McCord
etc.

It will take time, and hard work, but if Lindsay Lohan can waste away in a matter of weeks, so can I.
Wish me luck!

By the way, I figured I should tell you this....

I’m a yoshi




Look out fo the flub!